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I am so happy.

The Andover Leisure Centre was bursting at the seams on Saturday night with fans of MMA.


After fifteen gruelling bouts in the cage it was safe to say that Into the Cage IV was an event of passion and determination. From the opening fight to the main event.
 Mixed Martial Arts is the fastest growing sport in the world and seeing shows like Saturday’s it isn’t surprising at all. The atmosphere was electric and the crowd were pumped up and being sat ringside I had the best seat in the house. You could almost feel the fighters adrenaline as they stepped foot into the cage.

 
There were ten semi-pro fights and five professional. Eleven of the fights ended in either knockout, submission or technical knockout, giving the fans much to cheer about. Even the bouts that went the distance were absolute wars, that people wanted to see go one more round.
 In some of the fights you didn’t want to blink in case it was over.


In the co-main event we saw Michael Peters fighting out of Team Mad Dog take on Harry Fox from Silverback Submissions in a featherweight contest. Peters was coming into the fight with a 2-0 record and showed why he was undefeated with a huge slam in Round 1. Fox looked confident off of his back and managed to secure an armbar, but Peters hung on before it was a case of tapping out or having the arm broken. An excellent bout from both fighters leading to the main event.


The final fight of the evening was contested by local fighter and also a member of Team Mad Dog, Alexei Roberts against AJ Russell of Andy Roberts BJJ.
It started off with explosive strikes from both competitors, with Roberts seemingly in control before locking on a standing guillotine and having his hand raised. The perfect finish to an amazing night
 I left Andover Leisure Centre thrilled from the performances and spirit of the show and excited to see the next event in the new year.

Considering it’s a hot topic and a lot of you are grieving for someone you never knew (makes a change) I thought I’d write a scathing blog.
 I respect the dead, not the shit snorting crackwhores who are dead. Acheving more than we ever will? She made a couple of hits and was more famous for shovelling crap into her dormant face. I don’t want to achieve that, so go ahead.
 Must suck for her parents, but her fans are moronic-Topshop-TSB working twats. You never knew her and you definitely won’t now. Or any celebrity. Ever. I know I’m whinging, but I’m not having a crywank over a skeleton with dodgy tattoos.
 I’m not trying to be disrespectful because I never had respect for her in the first place.
People say ‘oh what a waste of talent’, no she was a waste of air. If you’re a junkie, save the trouble and put your head in an oven now. Plenty of people have kicked their drug habits who don’t have as much support as that carcass, Winehouse. Put your tissues away, cunts.

I haven’t posted a blog in a while, moaning at the world. So here I am.
 Recently, a wave of these fantastically dull Facebook groups have resurfaced like a shit that won’t flush. I thought they were extinct after a while of not having some pillock fill the newsfeed up with groups such as; ‘HAI, WEN I WUZ UR AGE WE HAD FIVE TELEVISIONS, NOT SIX’. Talking in a past tense like that anyway makes you sound older than you actually are. You’re twenty!
 Spending your days clicking the like button and laughing to yourself (and your 34549 fake friends). At least I do something productive like watching a classic film, winning the FA Cup on FIFA or moaning at you inbreds!
 In the future, stop wasting your time in your virtual Neverland. No-one likes you, not even your Facebook groups.

Witty title, eh? I’m sure it’s been done before. I’m sat in my room pondering what to despise, and I thought… adverts. It’s easy enough to hate them, everyone does, but occasionally you get some cretin who asks “have you seen that really funny advert?”. No, no I have not. Adverts aren’t funny, they’re the cancer of television.
 If I want to watch a film, I usually record it on Sky+. Sometimes I’ll watch it when it’s on then remember. Ten minutes into the film you have some ex-sportsman trying to sell you a hamper of gold-plated shit. I want to find out if the man in the film is his own mother’s father, not some spastic screeching an abused cover of a one hit wonder into my miserable face.
 By the time the film is back on I’ve decided to log onto Amazon and order the fucking thing on DVD. At one point if I had the television on, I just left it on BBC1 so I didn’t deal with the shower of cunts on my telly!
Anyway, rather easy subject to lay into, but I don’t care. It’s like sex; I’ve done it now and I don’t know if I’m proud of myself. And I’m naked.

Last night (04/02/2011) I attended a ‘drum and bass’ night, unintentionally. I’ll explain how moronic it was.
 First of all, everyone was fingered by a bouncer outside for drugs and had to empty pockets on to a table. I got asked what was in one of my pockets and replied “money and bank cards, but they’re not leaving my pocket.” I’m not having some half-baked moron eye up my debit card.
 I think to myself ‘it won’t be too bad in there’. I walk in and see an ocean of simpleminded fuck-wits, who are clearly off their heads on some cat food or plant killer. Surprinsgly, it was quite easy to get a drink from the bar. My guess is because all of the town’s finest were waving their arms about meaninglessly in some kind of sweating festival, in front of a DJ. Or whatever they’re called.
 It got to the point where I found myself outside talking to my friends for about an hour, realising I wasn’t completely brainless.
Getting home in one piece was a relief, for fear of getting stabbed due to the fact I wasn’t dancing and instead looked on like a miserable skid mark, judging people with a glare.

This week I’ve been riddled with some sort of flu. The worst part has been having a fever and strangest dreams. I went to bed with a hoodie, pyjama trousers, t-shirt, socks, blanket, a big duvet and the radiator on. I think I sweated most of the evil thing out of my system in the night.

 Can’t remember the last time I was this ill, but hopefully it’s the last time for a while. At least it wasn’t in the summer. There is NOTHING worse than a summer flu.

The Big Bang Theory. Closely followed by Shameless.

I cannot wait to watch all of this in one go.